giovedì, luglio 22, 2004

Abdul's Discount Camels

Heh.. well this was a story I wrote about a few years back. Although I did promise to complete (also about a few years back), I never really got down to it (Mostly because I didn't know how to... bleah!) But nonetheless, I hope you'll like it :)

Abdul's Discount Camels
by Eddie G.

Long before pancakes were invented, in a squalid settlement off the Eastern Side of the Western Village of the Southern City in Arabia, there lived a camel merchant called Abdul. Abdul was an honest man who worked hard day and night for his living in order to provide for his wife and two sons, Abu and Sayef. His wife, Fatimah had a problem controlling her appetite, especially after the birth of Sayef. Known fondly to the somewhat insensitive populace as "Fat Llama", Fatimah would be the satire of the entire community of the Eastern Side of the Western Village of the Southern Arabic City.

"I bet she's never seen her toes." gossiped one.

"When she sits around the house, she sits around the house." joked another.

"Wonder if she greases the door before leaving the house." and other such snide remarks would be what Fatimah got everytime she left her house (or at least tried to).

Despite all this, Abdul never stopped loving his wife, and was always there to give her his support (Figuratively speaking of course).

One day, after selling 15 and a half camels (don't ask), Abdul decided to close shop. It had been a long blistering day in the Eastern Side of the Western Village of the Southern Arabic City. As he led his unsold camels home, some fifteen of them, he saw a beggar sitting on the road. It was a pitiful sight. The beggar seemed in desperate need of a hot bath and a good meal. His clothes were in tatters and barely covered his body. In his left hand he carried a wooden mug, and in his right, a pale walking stick.

Having compassion on this beggar, Abdul decided to help him in any way he could. Bending over, he asked the beggar kindly, "Excuse me sir, would you like some help."


Abdul clutched his ribs where the beggar's walking stick had bludgeoned him, only to see the beggar laugh in a high pitch voice and take off his long dirty wig.

"Abu!" roared Abdul, "what on Ali Baba's left nostril are doing here in the street dressed as a beggar?"

"Playing pranks, venerable father mine." came the cheeky reply, "you're the fifty-seventh today."

"Just call me 'Dad'." sighed Abdul. "Listen. If only you could use your talents to help me sell more camels, I wouldn't be going through all this trouble."

"How so?" Abu was curious.

"Well, you are very resourceful, and have the gift of the gab. Instead of making a fool out of innocent passers-by, why don't do something useful with -"

"Race ya home, venerable father mine!" exclaimed Abu in his shrill voice and took off before Abdul could even finish.

"DAD!!!" screamed Abdul at his excuse of a son.


It was Abdul who broke the silence during dinner later that evening.

"So anything interesting happen today?" asked Abdul.

Fatimah looked up from her 32nd helping of mashed potatoes and black-eyed peas.

"The landlord came over this afternoon." she said, her mouth full of dinner.


"He wants to raise the price by another 100 shekels." came the reply.

Abdul nearly fell off his chair. "100 shekels!" he exclaimed "I'll have to sell 4 more camels each day just to be able to pay the rent!" At this, Abu got up from his chair and headed to for the door.

"Where are you going?" enquired Abdul.

"To burn down the landlord's house!" Abu yelled back.

"Let him go," said Fatimah as Abdul tried to pursue his crazy son. "You know that he loves to talk rubbish. I have yet to see that boy walk his talk."

That night, Abdul had a problem sleeping. After tossing and turning in bed for nearly and hour or so, he got up, walked to the kitchen for a glass of warm camel milk. Suddenly, he heard a noise in the den. Cautiously, he approached the dark room, groping around blindly for a weapon... and found it - the walking stick that Abu had battered his ribs with. At the other end of the living room, he saw a mysterious silhouette of a man trying to climb into the window. Instinctively, Abdul swung the stick into the intruder's face. With a yelp, the figure fell off the window onto the floor. Abdul raised his club for the attack...

"WAIT! VENERABLE FATHER MINE! It's me!" hollered the figure in a shrill, high-pitched voice.


Abu scrambled to his feet, his clothes reeking of kerosene.

"You didn't burn down the landlord's house did you?" ask Abdul worriedly as his eyes adjusted to see in darkness around him.

"Relax, venerable father mine." crooned Abu. "I asked my friend Ali to do it for a bag of marbles."

"Ali, our neighbour's son?" Abdul enquired credulously.

"Ali, the dumbest boy in the entire Eastern Side of the Western Village of the Southern City of Arabia." beamed Abu.

"But... he's only 4 years old!"

"Minor detail."

Father and son stood staring at each other in the den for about 10 odd minutes. Neither spoke a word. The former too shocked at his son's indifference to human lives while the latter wondered what was for breakfast the next morning.

Abdul's train of thought was broken by a sudden flash of light. And lo! There in the middle of the den stood a blue 8-foot-high genie.

"This is so cliche." muttered Abu to nobody in particular. "Why do all genies have to be 8-foot-high and blue?"

"Salaam! My name is Solmyr ibn Wali-Barad." declared the blue 8-foot-high genie. "I have heard of your predicament, Abdul-Sahib and I have heard of your compassionate heart, and thus have been moved to help you pay your rent."

"You're going to give us money?" it was Abu.

Solmyr laughed. "No, lad," he said, "you give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a man how to fish, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

"What if he's vegetarian?"

"Is this your son?" Solmyr asked the embarressed camel merchant.


"I have heard a lot about your misdeeds, Abu m'lad. You must repent, boy, and your future will -"

"Goodnight guys. It's getting late!" laughed Abu and dashed up the stairs to his room.

Abdul sighed. Something had to be done about that boy of his.

"I agree," said Solmyr, as if reading Abdul's mind, "but pressing matters at hand. And I'm going to teach you how to get more money from selling your camels."


What advice will Solmyr give Abdul? Will Abdul manage to pay his rent? And what about his deliquent son Abu? What is to become of him? Will the neighbour's son really burn down the landlord's house for a bag of marbles? The answer, dear friends, will be revealed in the second episode of "Abdul's Discount Camels."

Ed's note: Abdul's Discount Camels is also the name of the band I'm currently in.

The band consists of:

Lead guitarist - Ren Sheng (a.k.a. SrenZ)
Bass guitarist - Weng
Drummer - Patrick (a.k.a. Phat Pat)
Rhythm guitarist - Luanne (a.k.a. Blues the Peachick)
Backup Vocals - Zicong
Lead Vocals - Eddie G.

We released our first semi-professional, non-commercialized album entitled "Buy One Get One Flea" earlier this year (2004) with the help of Melvin Lee and ETC Music & Entertainment. He did a good job with the recording. For those interested, here are his details

Melvin Lee
Executive Producer

359B Joo Chiat Road
Singapore 427604

Tel: (+65)63446223
Fax: (+65)63445053
HP : (+65)98151175

Email :

Ye who seek for audience, let ye speak now!

And so it came to past that at 02 agosto, 2004 20:18, in the presence of The Eddie G., Anonymous Anonimo had spoken the following...

part 2, part 2!!!



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