lunedì, luglio 26, 2004

Testimonials

As you all may have already known, we all have had our fair share of testimonials written "painstakingly" for us by our beloved teachers. And sometimes when you take them out and read them (sometimes again and again), you'll say "Aww, how nice of them to have said that about me." Well don't be too happy, 'cos according to research done by my alter ego Dr. Vulgarus, the teacher's have their own "secret code" when it comes to writing testimonials. So without further ado, here is a list of some of the "codes" they use...

Here are the following you might find in your testimonials, along with what they usually mean:-

he has great potential that has yet to be fully realized = he is underperforming.

he is one who has no qualms about speaking his mind = he is tactless and insensitive.

he has a happy-go-lucky attitude towards life = he is a complete idiot.

he tends to make his presence known in class = he is an obnoxious lout.

he has an open mind = he is miserably gullible.

he participates actively in class discussions = he is excessively talkative.

he has an incredible talent for multi-tasking = he is extremely unfocused.

he needs help = he needs help.

he has a healthy nocturnal lifestyle and studies late into the night = he sleeps in class.

he clings on strongly to his beliefs = he's disturbingly obstinate.

he has an uncanny sense of humour = he tells lame jokes in class. *ouch*

he would make a very good friend = he is highly unsociable.

he is a great encouragement to his class = he always gets last in class.

his words are often given much thought and consideration = he's a big fat liar

There, see? This is what the teachers' have been saying about you all along!!!

Ye who seek for audience, let ye speak now!

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