Timewasters Anonymous: The Difference Between Malaysians and Singaporeans

lunedì, aprile 18, 2005

The Difference Between Malaysians and Singaporeans

The Difference Between Malaysians and Singaporeans
By Eddie G.

It's not as if you hadn't noticed, but Malaysians and Singaporeans do have quite a bit in common. However, if you do pay attention, you might notice some distinguishing traits that might spell the difference between a true blue Malaysian and a die-hard Singaporean. These are guidelines. No one has to follow them, but generally they do.

AT A BUFFET
Malaysian: Eats until he throws up

Singaporean: Eats until he throws up, and then eats some more

LAW & ORDER
Malaysian: Knows his laws, disobeys them and that's fine

Singaporean: Knows his laws, disobeys them and gets fined

ECONOMY
Malaysian: Trade Union owned by rich, pretentious bastards who don't know shit about the struggles of the working class

Singaporean: Trade Union owned by the government

MANNERS
Malaysian: Cuts a queue, feels guilty, trys to pretend nothing happened

Singaporean: Cuts a queue, feels guilty, trys to justify his motive ("Actually hor, you know ah, I've been here already for very long, one!")

CUSTOMS
Malaysian: Attempts to smuggle drugs and tobacco into Singapore

Singaporean: Attempts to smuggle chewing gum into Singapore

LEADERSHIP
Malaysian: Former Prime Minister retires and goes off to enjoy life while calling the shots from behind the scene

Singaporean: Former Prime Minister retires... oh wait, no he doesn't.

INFRASTRUCTURE
Malaysian: Builds Twin Towers to symbolize what Malaysia is all about

Singaporean: Builds Twin Metal-Spiked Balls for the same purpose

CORRUPTION
Singaporean: Culprit begs policeman for leniency

Malaysian: Policeman begs culprit for bribes

POLITICS
Malaysian: Believes in a one-phantom-one-vote policy

Singaporean: Lee Kuan Yew votes on behalf of the country

CENSORSHIP
Singaporean: Allows adult films to be screened so long as patrons are of age and film possesses a certain aesthetic value

Malaysian: Buy the VCD lah!

PATRIOTISM
Malaysian: Sings Malaysian National Anthem in Bahasa Malaysia

Singaporean: Sings Singaporean National Anthem in Bahasa Malaysia

Ye who seek for audience, let ye speak now!

And so it came to past that at 24 aprile, 2005 00:07, in the presence of The Eddie G., Unknown had spoken the following...: Ha! I liked the "Knows his laws, disobeys them and gets fined" one
And so it came to past that at 24 aprile, 2005 06:49, in the presence of The Eddie G., Jonathan had spoken the following...: I like these differences.. 8)
And so it came to past that at 24 aprile, 2005 10:50, in the presence of The Eddie G., minishorts had spoken the following...: hahahaha.... hilarious!!!
And so it came to past that at 24 aprile, 2005 11:12, in the presence of The Eddie G., None had spoken the following...: very funny..yet so true! hehehehe
And so it came to past that at 24 aprile, 2005 11:51, in the presence of The Eddie G., avoidance had spoken the following...: My favourite has got to be the Infrastructure one. HAH!
And so it came to past that at 24 aprile, 2005 11:52, in the presence of The Eddie G., Eddie G. had spoken the following...: thanks for all your comments people. I'll drop over to visit your blogs as soon as i'm done with my assignment. I promise ^_~

Cheers
And so it came to past that at 24 aprile, 2005 11:57, in the presence of The Eddie G., Eddie G. had spoken the following...: Oh yea, in case you're wondering, I like the "Former Prime Minister retires" bit best :D
And so it came to past that at 24 aprile, 2005 13:36, in the presence of The Eddie G., zhi yang had spoken the following...: oh man, this is hilarious. and i agree with you, the prime minister retire is good... :)
And so it came to past that at 24 aprile, 2005 18:57, in the presence of The Eddie G., Anonimo had spoken the following...: Full marks on the "Trade Union"!
And so it came to past that at 24 aprile, 2005 19:15, in the presence of The Eddie G., R2D2 had spoken the following...: You have insulted us Singaporeans! Prepare to suffer the wrath of NTUC, the people's union!
And so it came to past that at 24 aprile, 2005 19:31, in the presence of The Eddie G., Eddie G. had spoken the following...: Whatcha gonna do Suspiciousbastard? Run me over with a trolley? ;)
And so it came to past that at 24 aprile, 2005 19:51, in the presence of The Eddie G., Silly Celly had spoken the following...: hahha.. that's hilarious dude!

i like the prime minister one...^^
And so it came to past that at 24 aprile, 2005 21:03, in the presence of The Eddie G., Eddie G. had spoken the following...: Dear Anonymous,

Each and every one of us has opinions. If they find it funny, let them. Judging from your comment, I believe that you feel otherwise. Well make your feelings known. Tell us why you disagree. No harm in that. If you truly want to give your two cents worth, don't hide behind a skirt of anonymity.

Remember, I'm not anti-Singapore. I'm just anti-stupidity. I grew up there. I have friends there. And they are great friends. And you know what, we all have seen MANY stupid things happen.

Looking forward to hear more from you, Anon. And this time with your name please :)
And so it came to past that at 24 aprile, 2005 23:00, in the presence of The Eddie G., Edmund had spoken the following...: Brilliantly written. Funny! Please dont stop- no matter what anyone says!
And so it came to past that at 25 aprile, 2005 01:52, in the presence of The Eddie G., Syuhada had spoken the following...: I like the one on patriotism! *grins* Read your profile, I didn't know non-singaporeans were given a choice to serve NS or not. Was amused about the "cannon fodder" part. :)
And so it came to past that at 25 aprile, 2005 09:40, in the presence of The Eddie G., Anonimo had spoken the following...: well joked indeed!
"2 spiked balls", yeah no one saw it like you did!
And so it came to past that at 25 aprile, 2005 09:43, in the presence of The Eddie G., Toadjuice had spoken the following...: Well Syuhada, we've choises in Singapore... er... I mean, choice. Its usually either the Garmen's way, or the highway. North-south highway can also... our politicians from the opposition are know to do that...
And so it came to past that at 25 aprile, 2005 14:02, in the presence of The Eddie G., Eddie G. had spoken the following...: Mysterytanlines: You bet I won't. Hahaha. Thanks for dropping by. Keep checking up for more posts ;) Be visiting your blog soon

Syuhada: Yes, well. Non-Singaporeans don't have to serve, but my dad is PR in Singapore. As it is, 2nd Generation PRs have to serve. So yea. I took matter into my own hands. Hahaha

Ahkl77: Yes, and if you spend the night at Swisotel, and look out the window, you know that chopsticks like structure? If you shift your angle just right, you might get to see it between the two spiked metal balls. That's how smart the Singapore "gahmen" is.

Toadjuice: Well that's life really. I chose the highway. It's a choice, as you have said. So now I'm studying in Monash instead of NUS ;)
And so it came to past that at 26 aprile, 2005 12:04, in the presence of The Eddie G., Shan had spoken the following...: Hey Eds good one, laughed my ass off - and to everyone else, LIGHTEN UP LAH! It's meant to be a...wait for it...JOKE!
And so it came to past that at 26 aprile, 2005 12:07, in the presence of The Eddie G., Shan had spoken the following...: Sorry - I meant that comment for Anon.
Extract the bunghole from whatever orifice it's currently in and enjoy some good humour.
Cheers Ed.
And so it came to past that at 26 aprile, 2005 14:16, in the presence of The Eddie G., Eddie G. had spoken the following...: I'd prefer not to. Heh. Everyone who visits my blog is entitled to their opinion. Even if they are from *cough* bungholes :D

Thanks for dropping by, Shan. Keep checking back, yo. And expect a visit from me anytime soon ;)
And so it came to past that at 26 aprile, 2005 22:53, in the presence of The Eddie G., Anonimo had spoken the following...: ECONOMY
Malaysian: Trade Union owned by rich, pretentious bastards who don't know shit about the struggles of the working class

Singaporean: Trade Union owned by the government

Is there a difference?
And so it came to past that at 27 aprile, 2005 14:14, in the presence of The Eddie G., Eddie G. had spoken the following...: Anonymous: Well actually there is. You see the "rich pretentious bastards" in Malaysia may display similarities with the Government of Singapore. But the ultimate difference is that Malaysians actually have a glimmer (though I wouldn't run too much with it) of hope.

As compared to the NTUC where they go, "Oh you have a problem with government policies in your workplace? Hmm. let us (the government) bring it up to.. oh say.. ourselves?"

And in a week's time they'd get back to you and say, "in case you're still wondering, the answer is 'no!'. Thank you for trying."
And so it came to past that at 29 aprile, 2005 23:24, in the presence of The Eddie G., Anonimo had spoken the following...: very funny. Luv it
And so it came to past that at 03 maggio, 2005 19:34, in the presence of The Eddie G., KwokSiong had spoken the following...: hey there, this is one interesting post. you're such a great and engaging writer. i'll be back for more!!!