lunedì, maggio 29, 2006

X-Commies: The Last Hotdog Stand

If you were to take a look at TMY's or Joanne's blog, you'd realize that, in celebration of the latest X-Men III movie, some of the Monash Commies have been made into heroes. Thanks to TMY's genius with Adobe Photoshop, and Joanne's shameless advertising, five unlikely heroes have arisen.

TMY did the characters. Now it's my turn to do the story.

X-Commies: The Last Hotdog Stand

In an age when mutants walk freely amongst the humans, prophecies of place called "1901" have arisen. Like all places of untold power, 1901 caught the attention of both good and evil alike. Now, evil seeks to harness the powers of 1901 for their own; an evil conglomerate has arisen and will not rest until they have made 1901 theirs. So begins the epic battle between good and evil, in a bid to capture the Last Hotdog Stand.


Callsign: Electric Boy
Real Name: Unknown
Place of Origin: Unknown

The self-proclaimed leader of the guerilla strike force known as X-Commies, the origins of Electric Boy (called "Sparky" by his peers) are yet unknown. Some believe that he was accidentally created from a short circuit in an Engineering project, which does to some extent explain his geeky looks and tendencies.

With the ability to manipulate electical charges at will, he uses his powers for the good of mankind. His favourite hobby is to purposely flatten his car battery so that he can get the thrill of jump-starting it with his tongue.


Callsign: The Terminatress
Real Name: Joanne Soo Liyeng
Place of Origin: Puchong

It looks could kill, then The Terminatress would be murder in the first degree. Joanne acquired her powers when she was attempting to put on her left contact lens while standing too close to the microwave. The resultant radiation not only infused the lens into her left eye, but also gave her the power to fire fierce microwaves just by looking at something.

Everybody agrees that The Terminatress is the best looking amongst the X-Commies. Because those who did not are now nothing more than a bubbling puddle of chicken fat. The painful irony is that she cannot look herself in the mirror any longer, for her eye and her reflection would trigger off a massive chain-reaction that would knock her out senseless. And for someone as shamelessly narcissistic as she is, her powers are certainly more of a curse rather than a blessing.


Callsign: CanonWoman
Real Name: Temme Lee Wei Wei
Place of Origin: Penang

Temme Lee has always had a passion for cameras, with Canon being her favourite brand. However, she never did publicly admit to her fetish for shutter and lens. And as Sigmund Freud suggested, when something gets repressesed, it would only be a matter of time before it finally surfaces, consuming all. And surface it did. When the X-gene finally began to affect her body, Temme began to uncontrollably fire flaming cannonballs through her eyes.

When she joined the X-Commies, Electric Boy discovered that the only way to stem the flow of her terrifying powers is through the use of Canon lens' caps, and proceed to forge for her a pair of Canon goggles. There is one problem: the goggles are opaque, thus explaining CanonWoman's natural tendency to make friends with lamp-posts and trees. Despite this, she continues to wear them, insisting that they will protect others from unwanted fireball blasts. Many feel that it's nothing more than shameless product placement on her part, though.


Callsign: Nicotina
Real Name: Tan Shu Yi
Place of Origin: Subang


n.b. some Databases have reported Tan Shu Yi's callsign to be "Steamy Shu". This is incorrect. Only Electric Boy calls her that, for unknown reasons. To friend and foe alike, she is known as the feared Nicotina

Not too long ago, a girl called Tan Shu Yi was involved in the Black Lung Project, researching the effects of cigarette smoke on individuals. Though not a smoker herself, Shu aspired to use her research findings to encourage other smokers to quit. When the sponsors of the Black Lung Project found out about Shu's involvement, they locked her in a chamber full of cigarette smoke and left her there to die.

Miraculously, her X-gene not only saved her from an ignoble death, but it also imbued her with the power to exhale billows of noxious cigarette smoke at will. Nicotina powers make her a master of escape, and she is heavily relied upon whenever the X-Commies need to make a quick getaway (which happens rather often).


Callsign: The Blue Ape
Real Name: Eddie G.
Place of Origin: Singapore

No one really knows how and why Eddie G. became the Blue Ape. Some say he was born blue, while others theorize that it was excessive listening to Eiffel 65's Blue (da ba dee, da ba dai) that slowly altered his genetic structure to take on the colour in its entirety. As for the ape bit, well even evolution has its closely guarded secrets.

The Blue Ape's powers are also yet to be deciphered. There have been reports of him being able to turn invisible whenever he is close to a blue background. In addition, he is believed to be able to psychically track down anyone wearing blue. These reports have yet to be confirmed.

What we do know of the Blue Ape is that he is currently the official mascot for all things blue and beautiful. His amiable disposition and sense of humour have made him the spokesperson of the X-Commies. He loves all things blue, except for Chelsea Football Club because they're a shit team. Ironically, he supports Manchester United. "We all need a paradox in our lives," he would say with a grin, "this one is mine." -Rotters


Callsign: Ugly Lizard
Real Name: Wong Meng Hong
Place of Origin: Penang

The Ugly Lizard was once an X-Commie, but Electric Boy expelled him on the grounds of him being an Engineering student. He lounges around now, seeking revenge. Currently, he is attempting to rally together the Engineering mutants in a bid to destroy Electric Boy and the X-Commies once and for all. He seeks to make the power of 1901 his own, believing that it would result in the downfall of the X-Commies.

His powers include scaling walls effortlessly, rotating his eyeballs in any direction conceivable, doing that lizard-tongue-thinggy, eating flies and making those annoying clicking noises that lizards make. Like a true lizard, Meng Hong has the power of regeneration, making him exceedingly hard to defeat. And like true lizards, he loves to take a crap in people's kitchens.

Ye who seek for audience, let ye speak now!

And so it came to past that at 31 maggio, 2006 10:02, in the presence of The Eddie G., Blogger teMMe had spoken the following...

trust you eddie to "elaborate" further on what meng yoe and jo wrote.

twisting the truth your way as usual?

And so it came to past that at 31 maggio, 2006 10:22, in the presence of The Eddie G., Blogger Eddie G. had spoken the following...

Temme, what is the truth? Whose truth should we believe? High cultures? Low cultures? No cultures? Vitagen cultures?

There is no such thing as "truth", merely representations of what we call the "truth". So who is to say my representation is any inferior of that of TMY's or Jo's?

Therefore, how can you twist something that is already twisted? How can the distorted be distorted? The truth that you seek can never be found. The media reflects the truth, which does not exist. So what then does the media reflect?

And so it came to past that at 31 maggio, 2006 13:13, in the presence of The Eddie G., Blogger averilchan had spoken the following...


And so it came to past that at 01 giugno, 2006 21:24, in the presence of The Eddie G., Blogger efferstine had spoken the following...

mine is still the cooooolest lalalala

And so it came to past that at 02 giugno, 2006 02:29, in the presence of The Eddie G., Blogger Unpredictable Mortal had spoken the following...

creative shit!!


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