giovedì, settembre 28, 2006

Music Tag

I'm bored. I'm supposed to be doing my assignment

The keyword here is "supposed"

The requirements:

1. Put your music player on shuffle
2. Press forward for each question
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question (but it seems you can insert lyrics from the song if you want... in addition to the if it's suitable, just go ahead… you know what, you can just insert the lyrics anyway. And stop saying ‘lah’. Bah!)

* * *

1. How am I feeling today?

Reel Big Fish - Brand New Hero

Always talking
But, I never say a lot,
And I'll blow it if I
Get another shot,
'Cause it seems like
No matter what I've got,
It feels like it's nothing,
I feel like I'm nothing,

Goin' away,
Leavin' today,
You've gotta find
A brand new hero,
Goin' away,
Leavin' today,
You've gotta find
A brand new hero,
What will they say
When I've gone away?
Gotta find
A brand new hero,
Brand new hero!

As always, I'm stroking my Messiah complex

2. Where will I get married?

Bebo Norman - Falling Down

Angels on a subway
She's buried in a magazine
Stuck inside a replay
Of someone else's dream

Prophets made of paper
Don't tell her anything
She wants someone to save her
So she lifts her head and screams,
lifts her head and screams,
lifts her head and screams

"I don't know you
But I love you anyway
I can't see you
But I hope you're here to stay
I don't know you
But I need you here with me
Cuz I'm falling,
Falling...... down"

Didn’t really answer the question… but the chorus really means a lot to me.

3. What is my best friend's theme song?

Fountains of Wayne - Mexican Wine

But the sun still shines in the summertime
I’ll be yours if you’ll be mine
I tried to change, but I’ve change my mind
Think I’ll have another glass of Mexican wine.

I got a few of my close friends hooked on this song, so I guess it's rather accurate. Hehe

4. What was high school like?

"Weird Al" Yankovic - Ode to a Superhero

(Sung to the tune of Billy Joel's Piano Man)
Peter Parker was pitiful
Couldn't have been any shyer
Mary Jane still wouldn't notice him
Even if his hair was on fire

But then one day he went to that science lab
That mutated spider came down
Oh, and now Peter crawls over everyone's walls
And he's swingin' all over town

La li la, li de da
La la, li le la da dum

Sling us a web, you're the Spider-Man
Sling us a web tonight
'Cause we're all in the mood for a hero now
And there's evil doers to fight

Now Harry the rich kid's a friend of his
Who horns in on Mary Jane
But to his great surprise it seems she prefers guys
Who can kiss upside down in the rain

"With great power comes great responsibility"
That's the catch phrase of old Uncle Ben
If you missed it, don't worry, they'll say the line
Again and again and again

Oh, la la la, di de da
La la, di di da da dom

Now Norman's a billionare scientist
Who never had time for his son
But then something went screw and before you knew he
Was trying to kill everyone

And he's ridin' around on that glider thing
And he's throwin' that weird pumpkin bomb
Yes, he's wearin' that dumb Power Rangers mask
But he's scarier without it on

Sling us a web, you're the Spider-Man
Sling us a web tonight
'Cause you're brave and you're strong and so limber now
But where'd you come up with those tights?

It's a pretty sad day at the funeral
Norman Osborn has bitten the dust
And I heard Harry's said he wants Spider-Man dead
Aw, but his buddy Pete he can trust

Oh, and M.J. is all hot for Peter now
Aw, but Peter, he just shuts her down
Mary Jane, don't you cry, you can give it a try
Again when the sequal comes 'round

Oh, la la la, di de da
La la, di di da da dum

Sling us a web, you're the Spider-Man
Sling us a web tonight
'Cause we all sure could use us a hero now
And we think that you'll do all right

LOL!!! How apt!

5. What is the best thing about me?

Smash Mouth - All Star

Spot on, baby!

6. How is today going to be?

Final Fantasy XI OST - Currents of Time (instrumental)

I need assistance on this one…

7. What is in store for this weekend?

Reel Big Fish - Suckers

Hey everybody I’ve got somethin’ to tell it's what I learned from relationship hell
Lust turns to disgust a heart of gold into rust a soft touch to a slap in the
face- it gets old it goes away

This one's for all the suckers who still believe in love, this one's for you.
This one’s for all the suckers who still believe in love, this one’s for you.
It never works but we keep tryin' like fools learning and breaking the rules
At first you're excited then you're less than delighted by the end you wish
they would drop dead it can't last, it's gone so fast

HAH! Not that I'm worried that anything of that sort is gonna happen to me this weekened.

8. What song describes my parents?

Bowling For Soup - Hit Me Baby One More Time (cover)

Uh... Perhaps I wasn't really disciplined well enough as a kid?

9. How is my life going?

Reel Big Fish - Drinkin'

she told me
that I was lame
with her middle finger in my face
wont waste her time with such a loser
so now I wallow in regret
wanna do something right but I haven't yet
why do my endeavors end up in failure

I think I'll go out drinkin'
drinkin' all night long
cuz if I go out drinkin'
then I can stop thinkin'
bout how the world done me wrong

I guess I shouldn't feel so bad
ain't got much reason to feel so sad
'cept that I'm poor untalented and ugly
I know its like they always say
good times and bad will come our way
but theres only one thing that'll make this easier

I think I'll go out drinkin'
drinkin' all night long
cuz if I go out drinkin'
then I can stop thinkin'
bout how the world done me wrong

Close enough, close enough... burp!

10. What song will they play at my funeral?

The Offspring - Original Prankster

I was hoping to land on Pop Goes the Weasel for this question… but I guess this song would be a fitting tribute.

11. How does the world see me?

Bowling For Soup - She's Got A Boyfriend Now

OMG!!! Art thou clairvoyant?

12. What do my friends really think of me?

Avenue Q (Broadway Musical) - Everyone's A Little Bit Racist

Gary Coleman:
It's sad but true!
Everyone's a little bit racist -

All right!

Kate Monster:
All right!

All right!

Gary Coleman:
All right!
Bigotry has never been
Exclusively white

If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit,
Even though we all know
That it's wrong,
Maybe it would help us
Get along.

Um... it's a good laugh, but this isn't true. I'm VERY racist muahahah! (i.e. if you're not an elf you have no right to live in this world)

13. Do people secretly lust after me?

Def Leppard - Long, Long Way To Go

Agreed. Getting me is like reaching Nirvana - few will get there, and those who do will wonder if it's bloody worth it all...

14. How can I make myself happy?

Final Fantasy VIII OST - Maybe I'm a Lion (Instrumental)

Oh. So now we're in delusion I see?

15. What should I do with my life?

Jimmy Eat World - Bleed American

I’m not alone
'Cause the TV’s on yeah
I’m not crazy
'Cause I take
The right pills everyday
And rest
Clean your conscious
Clear your thoughts
With speyside
With your grain
Clean your conscious
Clear your thoughts
With speyside
Salt, sweat
Sugar on the asphalt
Our hearts littering the topsoil
Tune in and
We can get the last call
Our lives, our coal
Salt, sweat
Sugar on the asphalt
Our hearts littering the topsoil
Sign up
It's the picket line
Or the parade
Our lives

Ok. Lemme go fetch my AK-47

16. Will I ever have children?

Final Fantasy VII - The Shinra Corporation (Instrumental)

Not good. My future wife is going to become a frickin' factory.

17. What is some good advice?

Bowling for Soup - Almost

And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
almost had you
And I didn't even know it

And you kept me guessing
And now I'm destined
To spend my time missing you
I almost wish you woulda loved me too

Here I go thinkin' about all the things I could have done
I'm gonna need a forklift cuz all the baggage weighs a ton
I know we had our problems, I can't remember one.

I almost forgot to say something else
And if I can't fit it in I'll keep it all to myself
I almost wrote a song about you today
But I tore it all up and then I threw it away

Good advice. Wish I could take it too.

18. What do I think my current theme song is?

Lit - My Own Worst Enemy

This thing is so accurate it's beginning not funny anymore...

19. What does everyone else think about my current life?

Reel Big Fish - Rock n' Roll is Bitchin'

Hahahahah! Baby baby you're so bitchin'! Yea yea yea!

20. What type of style men do you like? (wtf are you trying to ask me?)

Final Fantasy VII OST - J-E-N-O-V-A

HAHAHA! I like my men genetically modified please. Even if it means getting killed by Sephiroth himself. Woot!

21. Will you get married?

Splender - The Loneliest Person I Know

All the more reason why I should marry you, right?

22. What should I do with my love life?

Lit - Addicted

Go on rehab?

23. Where will you live?

Gin Blossoms - Follow You Down

Everywhere you go honey, I'll follow you down.

24. What will your dying words be?

Jimmy Eat World - The Authority Song

Honesty, O Mystery tell me
I'm not scared anymore
I got no secret purpose;
I don't seem obvious do I?

Listen well, young Padawan.

25. When I'm having sex I say

Smash Mouth - Ain't No Mystery

I'm a mystery man, doin' what I can
With a continental international plan
Come on now, it's all now
This player's here to stay now
Let me break it down, make you understand
Don't you know your history
I'm feelin', I'm leanin'
This player's here to stay
You're a woman, I'm your man
It ain't no mystery

Actually I won't talk during sex unless it's something serious like "I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE ON THE PILL, BITCH?!?!"

26. When I meet a guy/lady for the first time I say

The Chordettes - Mr. Sandman

Mr. Sandman bring me a dream
Make [her] the cutest that I've ever seen
Give [her] two lips like roses and clover
Then tell [her] that [her] lonesome nights are over.

27. When my parents are angry I say

Crazy Frog - Axel F.


mercoledì, settembre 20, 2006

Scienta Est Potentia VI

I remembered being given this problem to work out when I was 16, by a good friend of mine. She refused to give me the answer, not even till this day (and a part of me suspects that she didn't know the answer either hehehe). Fastforward to last night, as I tried to sleep, I tried having a go at it one more time; and this time, the solution hit me like an oncoming train. After six years of being in the dark, it finally felt good to put this problem behind me once and for all.

Now, I throw it back to you, dear reader. Can you find the solution to this problem? Will you take six years like I did to solve it? Probably not, because I'll give you the solution soon.


The Dollar Dilemma

Three men went to spend a night in a hotel. Because they were on budget, they agreed to split the cost for the room. The room was $30 for the night, so each of them forked out $10, grabbed their key and headed for their room.

After they left, the receptionist realized that he the room only cost $25, not $30. So he sent the bellhop to return the surplus $5 to the men. On his way there, the bellhop thought to himself, "I can't possibly split $5 amongst 3, so I'll keep $2 for myself, and then return them $1 each."

So he did just that, and each of the three men had $1 returned to them. Here's where the problem arises. Technically each of the men paid $9. So $9 x 3 = $27, and add this to the $2 that the bellhop siphoned, and you get $29.

So what happened to the last $1?

Think about it...

mercoledì, settembre 13, 2006

Scienta Est Potentia V

While having a conversation on MSN, a friend told me to think about someone, anyone - the first person that came to my mind.

I thought about you.

And then my friend asked me this, "if you had to sacrifice this person to save the world, would you?"

I am no Messiah. I replied "no".

And I logged off. I thought about you once more, and softly I chuckled to myself.

A world without you is no longer worth saving.

martedì, settembre 05, 2006


Alright ladies and germs, an important announce I have to make, hrmmm.

The filming of Police Story II, Man will be delayed for a few more weeks. Due to unforseen circumstances, the plot of the story has to be altered somewhat. I won't go into the details of how and why (a nicer way of saying 'none of your bloody business'). Until the altered story is finished, filming will be postponed.

Of course, I do realize that assignments are beginning to pile, and while such matters are of no concern to one such as I, I am fully aware that not everyone is blessed with laziness at such a chronic level, or genius at such an overwhelming extent (not mention a touch of modesty for good measure). I will try to get the filming done and out of the way as soon as possible.

People involved, you will be called upon shortly.

Here is a list of people who will be contacted:

Trudy Au
Aaron Lee J. M.
Wilson Lee
Goh Kel Li
Linora Low
Tan Meng Yoe
Nikhil Singh
M. Yasir
Zeck Pulle
Soo Chang Hao

There are many others I believe, but their names elude me presently. And if you're interested in being part of this project, I'll need all the help I can get, so either leave me a comment or call me.

Police Story II, Man is projected for an October 3rd release, simultaneously with TMY's Lov. That of course is being overly optimistic. Still, it might work.

That is all. For now.

lunedì, settembre 04, 2006

Ways to Get Your Girlfriend to Dump You

by Eddie G.

People always talk about how to get this girl or that girl to fall for you, and - in a nutshell - how you can wind your way into her pants. Well that's fine and dandy. Actually, it isn't. On the other side of the coin, there are many who wish to break up with their girlfriend, but don't really have the heart to break the news to their significant others (albeit not so signifcant anymore). Take heart, friend, for I have managed to compile a comprehensive list of things you can do to get your girlfriend to dump you.

Disclaimer: These are merely suggestions and, if truth be known, solely for the sake of humour. You are of course welcome to give them a try. I, however, will take no responsibility should anything unpleasant, particularly if you wind yourself in a nuthouse.

n.b. The same could be applied to girls wanting to get their boyfriends to dump them, but as far as I know, guys are more or less immune to stupidity, being carriers of this disease ourselves.

Without further ado:

1) Take your girlfriend out for an expensive steak dinner. When the bill arrives, hand her a pair of rubber gloves. When she enquires about them, tell her that it’s to protect her delicate hands while she washes the dishes. Publicly announce what a loving boyfriend you are.

2) When your girlfriend asks you “do you think I’m fat”, tell her you’ll be able to get a better view once this solar eclipse has elapsed.

3) Shave your head bald, insist that your girlfriend follow suit. If she does, constantly lament on how you miss running your fingers through her hair. Buy her a wig for her next birthday.

4) Whenever your girlfriend asks you to do something, call home and ask a member of your family to consult your Magic 8-ball for you. Relay the results of the 8-ball to your girlfriend. If she remarks on how silly you’re behaving, act affronted. Ask her to apologize to the 8-ball.

5) Fake an epileptic seizure. When the paramedics arrive, explain to them that you’re merely getting your girlfriend prepared “in case of an emergency”.

6) When she’s not looking, place a strand of your hair on her shoulder. After a while, direct her attention to the hair and start making a big fuss, heatedly challenging her fidelity. When you finally realize that the hair does in fact belong to you, begin to sob out of relief. Hold her close to you and tell her how much you love her.

7) Buy a pair of handcuffs. Insist that she uses the handcuffs as part of foreplay. When she’s firmly secured to the bedposts, leave the room and enjoy your football match in peace.

8) Auction your girlfriend on E-bay. If she protests, apologize to her profusely. Offer to give her 10% of the proceeds as a means of making amends for your actions.

9) On her birthday, offer to buy her an ice-cream cake, and then buy her a normal one. If she comments that it isn’t an ice-cream cake say, “Sure it is! I took one look at the price, and I screamed.”

10) Drink lots of soda, and then belch really loudly. When your girlfriend complains about you belching before her, assure her that she can have the first go the next time around.

11) Insist that your girlfriend drive at 60km/h and ONLY at 60km/h. Yell at her whenever she goes above 60km/h, even just by 1km/h. Keep complaining that you're going to be late.

12) Speak in Tongues.

13) Announce that on her next birthday, your girlfriend will get a chance to see the world, courtesy of you. Constantly excite her about that prospect. When her birthday finally arrives, buy her an atlas.

14) Offer to make your girlfriend dinner at her place. Thrash her entire kitchen and ruin the meal. Call for pizza. Remark on how this whole dinner idea has turned out to be a major success. Offer to do this three times a week.

15) Whenever your girlfriend puts on one of those green facial masks, splash a bucket of icy cold water on her while yelling expletives. Apologize to her, saying that you thought she was the Wicked Witch of the West.

16) While waiting for your girlfriend to get ready to go out, spray on some fake cobwebs and wear a long, white beard. Pretend to be going deaf in one ear.

17) Develop a sudden aversion towards garlic, religious items and sunlight. Make small nicks all over your chin and complain that you cut yourself while shaving. Stare at your girlfriend's neck for a long time.

18) Start speaking in archaic English and carry a skull wherever you go. Talk to the skull. Tell your girlfriend that the skull thinks she dresses funny. Keep this up for one week.

19) Announce that you're intend on writing a sonnet for your girlfriend. For the next 15 minutes, stare at a blank piece of paper rather frustratedly. Finally look up and ask, "how do you spell your name again?"

20) Call your girlfriend at 3 in the morning. If she picks up, tell her you're just checking to see if she's awake. Call again 15 minutes later.